J and I raked. The raking day is always cold and damp and the leaves are heavy. I did no coaxing. He happily came out and raked with me. Looking up and smiling at me every once in a while. I don't know how a mother could be more proud. It is as if I can see them growing up. It's almost like the days when they were learning to walk and talk. Every day was something new. And now, every home visit has a newness to it. A new way of learning to live with these adult children of mine. J asks me how I'm doing now that I'm on my own, no kids at home. I don't like to think about it too much - it's hard and lonesome and worriesome and wonderful all at the same time. I am loving this time in their lives and I'm figuring out this time in my life. I need to carve out space and have some time to live in it for a while. It freaks me out to even think of what I would do.
Thanksgiving is only two weeks away.
1 comment:
I can't imagine how quiet it must be. And how nice, but how strange, it is.
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