Smile on Your Brother

Don't you think we should all smile on one another more? It seems like a simple thing to move the world along a little bit in a happier direction. So try it today, smile on someone. Force yourself to do it. You will be amazed at the results.

I never used to look at drivers. You know, when I am driving in my car I just sort of see the car as a "being" and never really bothered to look at the person. Lately, I've been looking at the person and smiling. Mostly I get smiles back. I smile on my bike and at the grocery store. Sometimes I try to smile while waiting in line (that's difficult for me).

Last spring I read a lovely book, The Encyclopedia of Ordinary Life. It's by Amy Krouse Rozenthal. The book is filled with sweetness. I sent her an email after I read it and she responded very kindly. Yesterday, she sent me this link for a new project. Take a look and pass it on and please smile on your brother.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0QVQSZA9zSk

All By Myself

Okay, so it's not so bad being on my own, having no one to cook for and clean up after.  There are some positives.  I'm not sure what they are right off the top of my head.  I'm cleaning up the basement now.  The basement is what I refer to as the "dorm room dungeon".  For the past year or so I've just given up.  I spend very little time down there except for laundry and an occasional pizza delivery.  So today I cleaned out J's room and came upon some nice little surprises.  My outside trash can is full and I filled two bags of stuff to go to ARC.  Then I needed to move the couch which is also a hide-a-bed.  That's a funny word.  I called my sister who has three strapping boys.  No answer.  I called my other sister who has a strong husband . . . nothing.  Then I called my 72 year-old-dad.  My mom answered and I told her my plan, she said, "I don't think he should be doing that."  Of course my dad heard my mom and he was over in about 3 minutes.  I have the knees of an 80 year old (that's what my doctor says with a sad kind of look) and my dad has the mind and soul of a 30 year old, but he's 72.  So we haul it up the stairs laughing a little and getting stuck, but we do it.  It feels good to get the gross couch out of the house and to feel like both of us probably did a little more than we should have physically, but we did it.  I've got go ice my knees now.

Pride and Worry

On Friday I took M to college!  It was a bright sunny day and a long drive.  We mostly listened to her iPod where she had created a playlist for the trip.  One of the many things I adore about M is that her taste in music has a wide range.  She likes many of the same things I like and we sang along and avoided the difficult goodbye-you're-growing-up conversation.  We got to her dorm earlier than expected and we were able to move in.  We wanted to get in before her room mate arrived because of space etc., so we started the move.  Everything went pretty smooth.  There were a few funny moments and some sad.  There was a point when she turned to me and said, "Mom, I'm not ready for college!"  She had the same tone of voice and expression that I remember feeling in the midst of childbirth.  I remember thinking, "Hey, I don't want to do this - I've changed my mind!"  Of course, I also knew it was inevitable - the pain would come and out would come a beautiful girl.  So in a few minutes, M said, "Okay, I guess I'm ready."  Friday night I went to see my son, J, play in his first college soccer game.  He did great - played most of the game and worked hard.  In the morning the three of us had breakfast and I dropped J off at soccer and proceeded to find the nearest Walmart.  Yuck.  Why hasn't Walmart figured out that with some better lighting and wider aisles their customers would be happier?  Is it that hard?  So I loaded my Walmart cart with a mini fridge, a shower caddy, a shoe storage thing, and other critical dorm supplies and headed for J's game.  After the game we all went to M's dorm and finished unpacking and getting it all set up.  She has a glorious few of Lake Michigan. We went to dinner and said our goodbyes.  Friday was harder for M and Saturday was harder for me.  I'm glad we weren't both bawling our eyes out.  One of us had to be the strong one.  I drove J back to his school and helped him clean out his fridge.  We stopped at another Walmart (no kidding) to load up on some hostess goodness and Gatorade.  It was hard to say goodbye.  I drove away with an ache that is still there.  I am very proud of my children.  They are both smart, strong, caring human beings and I know they will be okay.  It's hard to not feel their presence nearby.  I worry more - much more but I have to believe that all the things we have done together for the first 18 years will help them make good healthy choices now.  The feeling I have is sort of like the feeling you get after you've had the flu real bad, you know the kind when you have barfing and a high fever?  The feeling I have is the way you feel the day you go back to work after being sick with barfy flu.  Another way to think of it is the feeling you have after you've been crying real hard and you have the residual hiccup gasp post-cry thing going on.  That's how I feel.  Empty, sad, worried, and VERY proud.  They are beautiful amazing funny caring smart kids.